Earlier today, Chrissi fell asleep in my arms while I was working. I was just typing away when I realized she had already fallen asleep. I stopped and looked at her and I couldn't help but squeeze her a little tighter to hug her and give her a kiss on the forehead.
There is a different peace when you see your child fall asleep on your chest or while cradled in your arms. For a moment you feel your breathing become deeper and slower and for a moment you feel like everything is in its place. Aside from the fact that it is literally a time for you to pause having to run after that crazy ball of energy, it's one of those moments that allow you to take a step back and just take everything in. A lot like Jim and Pam from "The Office" and their mental pictures.
For a while now I've been feeling burnt out, and I guess with everything happening I forgot to take a step back and pause. I would rest, but I never really took the time to pause and to really look at things and enjoy what's good about life. Yes, it's tiring being a work from home mom, but as a single mom I never thought I would have the opportunity to be able to watch my kids grow the way I am able to now. I thought I would be too consumed worrying about how to keep up with their needs that I wouldn't be as hands on as I would like, but this past year I've had the chance to do just that. The pandemic has been causing a lot of stress, but the work I've been taking on during the pandemic has allowed me to work on a lot of skills and learn new things I didn't think I would be able to do or learn. I definitely want this pandemic to end, but I do have to admit that even with all this chaos there are still things that make life worth living.
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